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I Kinda Always Knew I'd End up Your Ex-Girlfriend

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It's funny no matter how long you try to run or think it's gone, the past has a funny way of reminding you that it's still here. Like that guy you went on that date with once but won't stop calling, or texting, and some how found you on Facebook. It still lingering hoping you give it another go, one more time to make things "right". But much like the past, you can't change it, you only have one shot to make things right, one shot at a good impression before you blow it. Once you blow it, its seems gone forever.

Last week my now ex boyfriend had texted me letting me know he was coming up here for the holiday season and wanted to know if we could meet up and get together.  We still keep in contact, him and I, occasionally,  we have funny conversations just checking to make sure that we're doing ok.  The breakup wasn't bad, we're still friends. Those are the famous last words, right? Something bad always happens after you're still friends with your ex. It's always 1 or 2 things when you're still "friends" both of which means you both still have feelings for each other. You're either going ton end up back together or you two were still messing around.

We were the latter, we were still messing around and it was amazing. It was not often especially since I had a new man in my life, it didn't entertain the idea, but before him, yes we were.  And it's rare that you can actually have a sexual relationship with anyone without one of you guys catching feelings. I mean sex is a physical and emotional dance, with each movement you give a little bit of yourself to that person. The more often you have sex with them the more of yourself you give til eventually you want more of them, and we'll that's how relationships  that are based off sex are formed.  That's how me and him started, he was supposed to be some easy tail for me to grab when I'm bored or horny, a booty call to put the term loosely. But when we hit the sheets the first time it set a chain reaction that lasted over 15 passion filled months. If fights were money and tears were food we'd have enough to get the nation out if debt and fill each hungry mouth with food.

But they weren't. Those arguments wore thin and so did our trust, eventually it got to the point where we would start looking and digging through each others social media accounts and reading each text message carefully to try to see what the other person  was up to. A day with out hearing from each other meant that we'd be arguing until the early hours of the morning. It was draining, the only thing that brought us together was the sweet song of Mary Jane and the promise of makeup sex.  After he announced that he was moving to Atlanta the following January I knew that would be the perfect time.

I wasn't happy and I was going to grab my first  hence at it, I knew I couldn't be happy with him. So I ended it, cold turkey. Of course I mourned, I loved him I just loved me more. A few moments later I did begin to miss him, my sex life was dull and I knew only he could satisfy me the way I wanted. I finally called him and we talked about us and everything, how we missed each other but we knew it would be best if we stayed apart for now, of course leaving the opportunity of us getting back together open. After a few  more discussions it was decided that late in the summer I would visit him in Atlanta.

The dates kept getting pushed further and further back until, again, I said I was fed up with waiting and wasn't coming down.  A week later he decided it was time. We went and got higher than Moses and partied worse than Satan, when I returned home I expected phone calls and at least a talk of reconciliation.  I received neither. At this point I decided I had given my all and made my motives known if he wanted me, he knows where to find me. Until then, I'm done.

Which brings us here. I've been receiving text messages from him saying that he's willing to try and wants to begin working on things, now 3 Months after the trip. Now 2 months in to a new relationship, now 2 days after I told him I'm in a relationship with another man. He continues to see me as his which is the only reason why I believe that he wants me back, because I'm with someone else. Which is just pathetic.

If there's 2 things I don't do is 1. leave the house without my eyebrows on and 2. go back to the past. You had me, had two years to get your stuff together, with an additional 9 months to get me back. You lost out. Sorry not sorry *Kanye shrug*     

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