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Monique Gives Her Husband A "Pass To Cheat"

The other day I was reading an article the other day about comedian Mo'Nique and her husband's open relationship. I always found it odd that a married couple, espicially an older couple, would choose to be in an open marriage. I mean it's one thing if you're dating and you say it's ok to sleep around an do the whole no strings attached thing, but its something different when you're married. Regardless on your view or marriage it's a sacred bond between two people to stay together through better or worst and remain faithful to each other no matter the cause or temptation. Why even bother with marriage if youre still going to act like you're single?

 Again to each it's own but marrriage is pretty black and white. To me there's no good reason to be unfaithful, allowed or not. You made a vow under God and God is does not think it's ok to cheat.  Anyway back to the subject at hand. In the interiew with True Exclusives Monique candily talks about her open marriage with her husband, like she has time and time again. She says and I quote 

“When I hear men say ‘I don’t tell my wife everything, you crazy?’ and I hear women say ‘I ain’t telling my husband that, you crazy?’ So you mean you trust somebody else other than the person you lay with every night, you slept with, you cried with, you make love to,” Mo’Nique explains. “So I think those long-lasting things is simply honesty and communication. It’s gotta be your best friend.”

I fully agree that you should be able to tell your husband everything, however there's something's I don't want to hear like when they want to hae sex with another girl.

She goes on to say...

"The person that you stood up and you said ‘for better, for worse, sickness and in health, richer or poorer’ you took those vows in front of the universe. If you don’t live by them, then maybe you shouldn’t have taken them. And when you say ‘a pass to cheat’—see, when you’re with your best friend and you say to your best friend: ‘I’m having these feelings about this person, sexually, and I want to share it with you.’ When you’re best friends, you can have those open and honest conversations. Often times, people cheat because of something they’re not getting. But when you have open and honest dialogue, and you say we’re just human beings.  And all these people on the face of the earth, do you think my eyes won’t ever say ‘he’s fine’ or ‘she’s attractive’?”
She then continued, “Now, if you want to go further with it, let’s be honest enough to have those conversations. What is it about that person that you find that you want to sleep with? Because they may give you something that I’m simply not willing to do. And if that’s the case, how can I be mad? Because I’m not going to do it. Should I deprive you of not having it? That’s when the relationship is real.”
Dare I say? I agree with Mo'Nique when it comes too sex, why should you deprive him of his fantasies? But why have him go to somewhere else to get his fix? One night can turn to a full fledge affiar really quick. You have to think about it like he will. Eventually he'll start thinking well she'll do this, what else will she do for me? A lot of relationships start of in the bedroom don't think that a ring and a vow, even that "open" communication will keep him coming home to you.  This mind process doesn't effect Mo' though, her roots are in Africa. And that's where she gains her "wisdom' and her marriage beliefs. She says...
"We’ve been taught to have ownership, and that’s the Western way to do it. I’m not sure where you originate from, but I originate from this place called Africa and what I know about African kings—tell me one of them who just had one wife. Do you know any of them? I don’t. That’s where I originate from. So when we came here, we adopted other people’s ways, and that’s called ownership. There was a time when I was owned before. I don’t want to be owned anymore." 
Ownership, she says that's what she calls being faithful thaat's what she refers to monogamy. I wonder if she remembers that in Africa women are considered property in those relationships. Men are also allowed to beat and sale you whenever they please. So, when it comes to being owned if you don't want to have someone claim you as their's, and only their's, stay single.

source : the clutch    

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