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I'm Leaving You For The Last Time

When a relationship ends you want to truly believe that its over. You've wiped your heads of your former lover and you're through. Yet, sometimes, everything reminds you of them. A man wearing a cologne reminds you of his smell, that dress you wore when you first met him reminds you of the happier times. Back when things weren't so bad and you enjoyed being around him, the simpler timesvwhen you two were falling in love, not out. Suddenly the idea of getting back together comes to mind, happy memories swirl through your mind of the two of you smiling as the cologne fills your senses, and you smile longingly as you look down at the dress. You shake your head and dismiss them, knowing its always far better to leave the past in the past and not lay your heart on the line because of blissful memories and sad goodbyes.

No not this time. There's a place for the past and its behind you. You can't drive forward looking at the rear view mirror you can only look a head... but what awaits up ahead is unknown. But isn't that part of life's great mystery?

There's a part of you that'll always find comfort in the past, but the future holds such untold mysteries that make us grow and shape into a person we never knew we could be.

Right now I'm at a crossroads, I'm set to leave my hometown in the next up coming months..

However, plans to run off don't seem to be in the stars for me... Let's recap shall we?

Shortly after Christmas I broke up with my gorgeous then boyfriend to be with my amazing lover then ex. Everything was going wonderful we were, talking everyday, laughing on the phone, and had emoji filled text feeds. I somehow thought he had changed and maybe, just maybe, we could give it another shot. However, I was in no rush. I didn't want to hop right back in to what I had just gotten out off, but me being a Pisces, an emotional being, that's exactly what I did.

I tried to go back to my old heart breaker ways, because we weren't together so anything really goes, but I couldn't become fully interested in anyone. Not even my ever faithful booty call, Joe, could tempt me to stray. So I stayed.

Around the end of January  I got the itch to really stretch my legs and move out of my home town and explore. My new beau(?) informed me he needed a roommate so he could began his start up business. He wanted to be able to work a job with flexible hours while still being able to pay his bills, and since I wanted to move out of my hometown anyway I agreed to move down there this upcoming summer. We discussed, of course where we stood and with no clear understanding of what either one of us wanted,or whether or not we wanted to get back together we decided to be friends with benefits and leave it as that for now.

So here we are. Not even two weeks out and he's considering moving elsewhere for another venture. Now don't get ne wrong I understand, things change, if you get a  better offer, take it.  This is not the case. From all accounts its not even a real offer, its an idea pitched from someone who's plans changes with the seasons. I'm not trying to down play but situations like this always arise in his case. He'll start on one thing, hear about something else, began working on that, then something will happen and nothing has gotten done. I won't go into personal details because that involves his personal affairs.

As far as I go, all this shows is that if I do go back it'll be the same headache and the same let downs. And its clear that right now 'we' aren't a thing, I thought the cosmos had lead us back together, I suppose not. Oh well...its life, I'm still leaving in the summer to where I don't know. I'm just gonna f*ck this guy at work and be on my merry way. I have not the time nor the patience,still sucks though

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